Letting Go
by Dreamcatcher38
Summary: A different perspective on why Max runs off on Fang all the time. FAX! Disclaimer! I do not own anything to do with Max Ride or any of the songs I may use!
1. Because of you

So... here I was standing in front of the gym doors at our new school wearing the cutest clothes I could possibly mash together from my beat up wardrobe. Alright I'll admit I had Nudge's help doing that but that's not important. What's important was why I was standing here with Iggy, Nudge and Fang at 9 o'clock at night. For this there could be several reasons:

1) Could it be we wanted to blow up the school? As tempting as that was, Gasman wouldn't miss that for the world.

2) Are we running away from a bunch of whitecoats? Oddly enough, no, we weren't.

3) Could Nudge have dragged home a flyer for a dance at our school and begged us all to go with her? Bingo. I wondered how long it would take before I would freak out from claustrophobia.

I looked at the part of my flock that had the unfortunate qualifications to be dragged along. Iggy didn't look too pleased at being in a crowd but he seemed to be enjoying the music. He would be able to make it through this. I looked at Fang and he gave me a "I'd rather be anywhere but here" look. He wasn't going to enjoy this. I wasn't the one who made him come. I would have rather he stay back with Gasman and Angel, but my Mom insisted on him going.

"Oh my God, Max! This is sooooooooo exciting! It's going to be soooooo much fun!" Nudge looked up at me with a huge smile on her face. She was absolutely ecstatic. I sighed quietly to myself and put on a smile. "Sure is, sweetie."

Nudge signed us all in and we went into the gym. Strobe lights flashed everywhere and music rattled the floor. And surprisingly, I didn't feel claustrophobic. I saw Nudge's eyes light up when she saw her friends.

"Go on..." I whispered to her. She smiled big at me and ran off to dance with her friends. I looked around. Iggy managed to cross the dance floor unharmed (it scares me how he can do that) and was standing by the food table enjoying the music. He would be fine. And Fang was no where in sight, though I was sure he had gone off and blended himself into one of the dark walls at the back. Which left just me. I did a quick 360 check for anyone who might have anything to do with the School. Force of habit. But everything looked clear which meant there was nothing left to do but hang with a bunch of my classmates and try to dance along.

I stood on the back wall watching. It's what I do, it's what I'm good at. Dances? Not so much my scene. Nudge's scene? Completely. Iggy's? Well, he'd enjoy the music. Max's? That I couldn't be sure. Being enclosed into a crammed place wasn't exactly Max's comfort zone, but she seemed to be having fun. She was smiling at least as far as I could tell in the dark. Even with better sight, I couldn't really see. Note to self: comment about the safety risks the dark has in dances on the blog. I smiled to myself. Half the stuff I come up with never makes it onto the blog anyways. I looked back up at Max. She looked so pretty. Nudge had done a good job. She was girly and... Max-y... at the same time. I liked it. Though I would never tell her that. And if that wasn't enough she had to be a good dancer too. I wondered where she'd learned to dance. I'd never seen her dance before. It was weird. Dancing didn't seem like a Max thing. It involved a certain grace as far as I could tell and Max wasn't exactly the most graceful person. Well unless she was kicking you in the stomach. I smiled again. I'd really have to stop doing that. _You have more important things to worry about than Max. She obviously doesn't care and it's time you learned that,_ I thought to myself.

"What are you looking at?" Iggy came up beside me.

"What makes you think I'm looking at something?" I asked Iggy. He's flippin' blind how could he "see" that I was looking at something!

"Well I'd have to say that I've been talking to you for that last three minutes and you haven't responded to me, which must mean you see something quite fascinating that I don't."

"Oh," I said, not really sure what to say to that.

"So... what are you looking at?"

"Do you want honesty or would you like me to find 'something quite fascinating'" I inquired.

"Considering how your voice sounds, I'm going to say that I want to pick honesty because whatever it is your looking at has some sort of fascinating something about it." You know, sometimes you really hate that Iggy has an overly developed sense of hearing. I sighed. Iggy wasn't about to leave me alone until I did tell the truth now and, trust me, that overly developed sense of hearing knows when your lying.

"Fine then. I'm looking at Max." That was good. It was the truth but it didn't give away too much.

"Max does look pretty today. Nudge and her picked really pretty colours." How would he know...oh yeah his new skill. I forgot he had gone around finding out what colour everyone was wearing.

"Um, yeah..." I said. My mind was wandering back to Max again. I shook my head and pretended to push the hair out of my eyes to distract myself.

"You like Max, don't you?" Iggy asked turning to me. I looked up. _WHAT!,_ I thought. Where the hell did that come from? I thought about it carefully, how to get out of the question... then I realised, um, everybody LIKES Max. He didn't say love. See, over reacting needs to stop.

"Yeah, everybody likes Max..." I prayed he would just accept that and end it.

"Well yeah, but what I mean is that you like like Max, you know..." Shit. There was no way to get out of this one with Iggy. But I couldn't say I liked her like that. I wasn't even sure if I did. I figured I'd try lying. With any luck, Iggy had drank too much punch to realise.

"Uh, no not... not like that. You know she's just a friend." Ok. I'd have to say that was a pretty sad lie. All I could hope was that whatever God there was, it didn't care about lying and that it was on my side.

Iggy smiled. Dammit. "Your lying." he said.

I spoke before thinking. "How is it lying if I don't even know myself?"

Iggy looked puzzled for a second and then leaned back against the wall grinning in triumph. He had found out what he wanted. "Oh you do know, you just don't want to think that way." Ok. That was really weird. It was all psychologically.

"Huh?" But Iggy was gone. Now I was kinda scared for once. Iggy knew more than he should. I just hoped that he would keep his mouth shut.

I laughed out loud. There were only ever like two times that ever happened. And one of those times involved birdseed. I laughed again remembering that. Even Fang laughed at that. Where'd he go anyways? He had better not left, or he'd get yelled at later. I sighed. I wouldn't find him. If he didn't want to be seen, you couldn't see him. We still hadn't figured out if this was one of those skills we keep getting, or if he was just good at it. It probably was a bit of both. I went back to laughing and dancing with my classmates. Surprisingly, I found that I was actually having fun. And I would have never thought I'd be good at dancing. It was just too graceful for me. But what do you know. I'm good at it. I turned and saw two big bright eyes looking at me. I saw a hint of a smile. But when I looked again, it was gone. Was probably just the strobe lights screwing up my eyes. As much fun as I found dancing was, it got really tiring. I felt like I had just flown for like 10 hours straight. I'm tough, but I know when to stop. I went at sat on the floor by the wall and sighed. The DJ spoke into the microphone at his station.

"Ok guys, we're gonna start slowing things down in a few minutes, so start trying to find that special someone!" I laughed. I picked a good time to stop dancing. As easy as slow dancing is, I'm not exactly bachelorette number 1, if you know what I mean.

I looked up and saw Iggy walk away from the back wall and back to the food table. I looked down where Iggy was standing before and, what do you know, there's Fang sitting on the floor against the wall. And he looked scared. Wait. Fang, scared? I had to look twice. But that's how he looked. I didn't think the dance would have been that bad for him. I should have convinced my mum to let him stay home. This really wasn't his thing and it must really be bothering him. I sighed. I guess I should probably go talk to him. I stood up and walked towards the back wall.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I sat down next to him by the wall.

"Hmmm? What? Oh, nothing." he said quickly and he turned away.

"You sure? Cause if the dance is really bothering you that much we can go," I couldn't see him upset like this.

"Oh, no. No, the dance is fine." He wouldn't look me in the face and his voice was really scared. I was starting to get angry at him. He wouldn't tell me what was bothering him.

"Ok, listen. I know something's wrong and I'm not going to stop bothering you until you tell me. You know that. Now start spillin'." Fang actually looked at me this time and he gave me a look that said, "like I would tell you in a million years" that made me want to punch him out. But then I remembered he was upset and forgot that.

"I don't know... maybe I'm just not having fun." I rolled my eyes.

"Well your not going to have fun sitting here on the floor. Come on! Get up and dance!"

"Uh..."

"What? Come on!"

Fang sighed. "I... I don't know how to dance."

I laughed. "Seriously? I didn't know how to dance either and I learned. Here I'll show you." I stuck out my hand to help him up.

"Uh....." Fang looked at me. Then he looked over at Nudge. I looked over too and saw Nudge give him a huge smile and bambi eyes as if to say to him, "go on,". That got Fang on his feet. He couldn't resist those eyes anymore than I could. I laughed and dragged him over to the dance floor.

Of course the DJ _had_ to put on a slow song right then. As much as I was like OH GOD!, it would be easier to teach him how to slow dance. I couldn't I believe I was dragging Fang to dance with me. My brain had gone from "Oh god! Fang's upset!" to "What the hell do you think you are doing?". I was shaking all over. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. _You can do this, Max. It's not like you're going to kiss him!_ I told myself, but stopped in my tracks at the thought of kissing. _Max, do not stop now._ Pitched in the voice. _You got yourself into this, and you're gonna get through it. Don't worry, it's going to work out fine. _Hell of a time to decide to show up Voice. But it was right.

I dragged him over to the far corner in the shadows. It would help make things that much less awkward if no one can see us, I planned mentally. I stopped and faced him. I looked up at his face and met his dark eyes. He was so much taller than me. I swallowed loudly as I reached down to grab his wrists and hoped I didn't look as scared as he did looking back at me. I suddenly felt my face getting red and I quickly looked down at his hands to hide my smile. I hoped. I took one more deep breath for good measure and placed his hands on my hips. I was shocked at how right their weight felt there. I got shivers down my spine. I forced myself to look back up at his face and let go of his wrists to put my hands on his shoulders. But as soon as I did, it wasn't just his hands on my hips, it was his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. There was no hiding the fear on my face now. Even though it was Fang, this was A LOT closer than I needed to be. I was pushing it before.

"This," Fang whispered into my ear as he squished me gently. "I can do."

I panicked for a second, and I think he could tell because it wasn't me showing him how to slow dance anymore, it was him leading me. Still not meeting his dark eyes, I did try to make a run for it, but he had me now, his arms still wrapped around me tightly. I shuddered out a shaky breath and he stopped twirling us in circles. I kept my face down, but I soon felt one arm release itself from my waist, though the other still held me tightly. The hand came up under my chin and forced me to look into his chocolate chip eyes. He raised his eyebrow slightly to say wordlessly, _why are you so scared?_ I could feel my face flush again, but I couldn't look away. Then I saw the slight smirk I loved cut across his face and I couldn't help smiling too.

Then what I felt was really really weird. I felt like... like crying. I didn't feel in the least bit sad, but I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks despite the control I fought them with. The hand holding my head up immediately moved across my face, wiping away the tears.

"Shhhh..." Fang whispered gently. I regained my control and I stopped crying. But before I could even think, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head on his chest.

"Shhhh..." Fang whispered again and kissed the top of my head. The hand that had wiped away my tears was now around me again, rubbing circles up and down between my wings like he knew I liked.

I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I wasn't scared, I wasn't happy. I was... more than that. Something bigger. Something I'd felt once. When I was little. I'd felt like this with Jeb once. Just once. But then he left, and took that away and slapped it back in my face when I saw him with the whitecoats again. And it was then that I promised myself I would never feel that again. Never would I let that stupid feeling hurt me so much. It had hurt everyone. But my promise came too late. After Jeb had left, when I had to fight off the terrible nightmares that haunted me as I slept all by myself, Fang decided to make an appearance. We had always been friends, and besides Jeb, who apparently knew about the nightmares without me telling him, Fang had been the only one I'd ever told about them. I don't think he even knows that I knew he came to comfort me every night. But the feeling grew. And before I knew it, that stupid feeling that I had promised myself I would never feel again had forced its way into my brain again. But I choked it out. I wasn't going to get hurt again.

I managed to hold off the feeling. But every time, Fang would get too close to me, the feeling would explode out of my control and I'd have to run, get as far away as possible and fight to gain control again. And when he started kissing me, it just made it even worse, because I could see that I was hurting him when I ran off. I had started to think that maybe I was just being stupid, that it wasn't the feeling that had hurt me, it was Jeb. And Fang would never hurt me, would he? But when he kissed that red-haired wonder in the hall, I just got another huge reminder of why I had been fighting for so long to control the feeling.

I must have reacted to the memory, because Fang just squeezed me tighter and softly whispered "shhh..." into my ear again. I realized we must be dancing again, we were spinning in circles.

I fought that stupid feeling. I wasn't going to let my pointless weakness hurt Fang. So I thought, maybe I can make Fang happy, but still control the feeling. So the next time he kissed me, I gave in a little, I didn't run away right away. But soon the feeling exploded and almost took me over and I had to run. I felt so bad, I had just hurt him more.

Then we met my Mom. And I got that feeling again. This time I was confused. Why would my Mom hurt me? And Mom trusted Jeb. Maybe Jeb didn't mean to make the feeling hurt me. I still didn't trust Jeb. But maybe I could trust the feeling.

It was then that it all made sense. And I think I started crying again. Fang stopped spinning us and just held me there. I had figured it out. Why I was crying, why I had dragged Fang to dance with me, why Mom had made him come in the first place. Because I was letting go. I was forgetting what happened so many years ago and finally trusting my feelings again. I had let the feeling take over, and I had dragged Fang to dance with me. Mom had made him come because she knew I would have. And I was crying because of how much it hurt to finally realise for how long I had hurt him. I lifted my tear streaked face off his chest to look into the chocolate eyes that caused that stupid feeling to explode every time.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Shhh... It's ok. It's fine. You know I don't care."

"No. I'm really, really sorry. Not just for this. But for everything. Every stupid thing I did and for everything I can't explain since.... since Jeb left." The tears started to pour faster and my head fell forward onto his chest again.

"Shhhh... I told you already. It's ok. I know. I've known forever." Fang mumbled into my hair. I sniffled.

"What?" I looked up again and Fang's hand came across my face again to wipe away the tears.

"I've always known. Don't worry about it. You don't have to tell me anything. I know now why you always run away. Why you always look so scared. Why the hurt is so deep when you finally let yourself cry it out. And why you've pretty much been in an emotional breakdown for the last little while." He almost laughed and smiled the smirk. Again, I couldn't help smiling.

"See? There we go, a smile." I snorted and looked down. But the smile was quickly replaced by a frown.

"How... how did you know? And... and why aren't you angry at me for hurting you all the time."

"Well, Angel gives me tid bits now and then, but it's mostly your eyes," he said tapping the bridge of my nose with his finger. "Your face might try to mask everything you feel, but your eyes say everything if you're looking." He smirked again and I quickly closed my eyes so he couldn't see. I felt his hand come up and brush a piece of hair out of my face. Then he kissed my forehead.

"Too late." he said. "Oh, I almost forgot to mention. You talk in your sleep."

"What?" I said opening my eyes wide.

"Those nightmares you have... yeah... they're um.... very graphic."

"What did I tell you?" I said quickly, panicking.

"Shhh... don't worry. Nothing you wouldn't have told me anyways."

"Yeah right," I said and smiled. He smirked back.

"And," he added. "I'm not angry at you because I know why you always 'hurt' me, as you put it. You had good reason to. If anything, it's my fault for pushing you when you were still so confused."

"Huh?" I said. "And don't blame yourself. That's just makes me feel worse. It's my fault. End of story."

"Ok," he laughed. "Whatever you say."

I looked around the room then and noticed all the lights were off, and everyone was gone. I started to panic. Where were Iggy and Nudge and what happened? How long had I been stand there with Fang? He clued in pretty fast to my panicked expression when I looked back up at him.

"I told Iggy to take Nudge home and we'd be back later. You were still crying then so he got the point without further explanation. Nudge doesn't know though, so she's going to have a lot of questions for you." I groaned at the thought of the Nudge channel. Fang actually laughed.

"Wait. How did everyone leave? Wouldn't they have seen us?"

"Not when they can't see you." I raised an eyebrow to that. Fang's arms unwound from around me and he took a step back. He disappeared. He was gone for a few seconds, and I started to get worried. Suddenly some invisible object wrapped it's arms around me from behind, lifting me off the ground. Then I could see Fang again.

"Stop that!" I said, giggling. He put me back down.

"So," I said. "How long have you been able to do that?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really."

"Then let's fly."


	2. You're my Max

FANG POV

We flew back to Max's Mom's house reluctantly, at least on my part. The night was cool and clear, my wings blending in with the dark night sky. They shone purple in the moonlight. Max liked it. She smiled when I flew in front of the moon.

You could tell that she was still upset. I could see it in her eyes when she glanced my way, though she would turn her head and try to hide it. But at least she was smiling and laughing. She swooped and tumbled through the air as graceful as ever. I couldn't help smiling when she wasn't looking. I hadn't seen Max so carefree in a long time.

She glided through the air above me and tumbled forward, doing a flip. She came out of it wrong and her wing folded back in on her. I panicked, rushing to her side, but she sorted it out and swooped on forward, riding an air current. I just shook my head and followed her.

I sighed and smirked as I watched her soar. Aerial tricks like that reminded me of that one time, the first time we both came to Max's Mom's house...

_I walked into Max's bedroom. Dr. Martinez wouldn't let us share the same room, not like it was anything new for us._

_Max was sitting by the window, looking out into the night, just thinking. Her mind elsewhere, she didn't notice me sneaking in all stealthy like I always did. God, she looked beautiful. One of the reasons why this was one of my favourite memories. I remember scolding myself for thinking such things, not that I would ever now..._

_...I crept up behind her and just stood there, silent as the dead, watching her. The way the moonlight shone on her face through the open window... she looked so perfect. I could never deserve her. But when did I ever give up in what I wanted? I sighed and smirked, alerting Max to my presence._

_She turned and looked at me and I quickly wiped all expression from my face. I was glad she hadn't learned how to read eyes yet, otherwise I would have been a dead avian freak long ago._

_She looked at me with a question in her eyes, though she tried to hide it on her face._

"_Fang?" she asked nervously, looking away. "What... what do you want?"_

_I just looked at her. Then my brain reminded me I should respond._

"_Oh, um... just wanted something to do..." I walked over to the window and leaned up against the framing._

"_Oh..." she said, frowning._

"_What's wrong?" I asked._

"_Nothing..." she said._

_I raised an eyebrow questioningly. She sighed._

"_I guess... I dunno. I guess I'm just worried about tomorrow."_

_Tomorrow, Dr. Martinez was going to pull the chip out of Max's arm. I reached out and stroked her hair with the back of my hand. She cringed back from my touch. That hurt._

_I pulled my hand back and told her, "It's ok. Everything is going to be alright. I wouldn't let her hurt you would I?" I smirked at her._

_She smiled shyly, looking down. My smirks were like Bambi eyes to her._

_She stood up and looked at me, still smiling slightly and said, "No. No you wouldn't." _

_She took a step towards me and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. I'd have to say I much enjoyed it, even if it was just a hug._

_Suddenly she realized what she was doing and pulled away. I sighed in my head. It was good while it lasted. She stepped back and looked out the window again._

_I had an idea._

"_Come on," I said, grabbing her arm and towing her onto the window sill with me. She looked at me, confusion spread plain across her face._

"_Up for a little competition?" I asked. She nodded, smiling wider. Max _loved _competition._

"_Ever done a front flip before taking off before?" She shook her head._

"_Me either." I said. "First one to do it wins."_

_I stepped off the window sill to let her go first. She looked at me and I raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. She glared and smiled back._

_She crouched down, ready to spring for takeoff, and launched herself out the window. She leaned forward and made the full 180 degree rotation. But she was falling too fast now and couldn't get her wings out. She scrambled and caught the branch of the tree in the yard._

_I laughed at her, and she jumped down from the branch. With one mighty wing stroke, she soared back up onto the window sill._

_She glared at me. "Your turn."_

_As she jumped into the room, I jumped out the window, did the full 180 flip and soared with one massive wing beat past the window. The trick was to unfold your wings just before you finished the rotation. I told Max, and she had to try it again. She got it after two tries. I applauded her. She bowed in the air and smiled._

"Fang?" Max asked.

I was startled out of my memories. I looked at Max and painted a 'what?' expression on my face.

"Do you think you can go supersonic?" she asked. My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"Not in a million years could I keep up with you."

"Oh," she sighed. Then her eyes lit up with an idea. She turned to me. I looked at her confused. She stuck her sneakers out in my direction. She smiled and said, "Hold on tight..."

I smirked, and grabbed hold of her ankles. We flew clumsily for a bit, until she said, "Ready?" I nodded.

All of a sudden I was pounded with what felt like a hundred Gs of force. Everything around me was a blur, including Max's wings, and mine struggled to keep up. But it was intensely exhilarating. It was incredible.

Eventually Max slowed and the world came back into focus. I let go of her ankles and fell about a foot before I remembered how to flap. I returned to her level and she laughed at me.

We were floating above Max's mum's house, and Max flew down to the big oak tree in the front yard. I followed her. She landed running and stood at the base of the tree. I did likewise and sunk to the ground leaning up against the big trunk. Max stared down at me, her hands on her hips.

"Tired?" she asked playfully. I shook my head.

Suddenly she got that distant look on her face that she got when someone was talking to her in her head. I waited patiently, last time I tried to talk to Max while the voice was exploding in her head, it didn't end well.

Soon she returned her attention to me. "Angel says that Mom and Jeb aren't too pleased that we're not home yet. She said she's going to try to calm them down. Do you mind if we hang out here for a while?" she asked. "I don't want to have to talk to them if I can avoid it."

I didn't mind. I shook my head and patted the ground in front of me. Max came over and sat in my lap, which surprised me. Maybe Max had changed a lot more tonight than I thought.

She leaned up against my chest and I wrapped my huge black wings around her. She sighed contently. I decided I'd ask her.

"You seem...different." I said and felt like banging my head on something. How come when it mattered, I could never talk to Max?

"Is... is that a bad thing?" she asked nervously.

"No. No," I said quickly. "No, it's just... I didn't expect it from you that's all." I smirked to try and show that I didn't mind the change. I hoped she understood.

"I... I feel different," she said slowly, like she was unsure of her words. "I... I feel like I don't have to fight anymore, like I can feel what... what I want to. I don't have to hide anymore. Well at least from one less person," she said snuggling closer to me. I smiled.

I could feel her breathing slow, and her eyes flicker shut. She was fighting to stay awake, but she was tired.

And I found myself remembering a song I heard the other day when Nudge turned on the radio to some station that played music I couldn't stand. Yet I remembered this song, so clearly, I remembered all the words, and they fit so perfectly for Max now. And before I knew it, I found myself singing them softly to Max.

_When you find yourself,_

_In some far off place,_

_And it causes you,_

_to rethink some things,_

I carefully stroked Max's hair. The poor thing. She was so lost. For once the amazing Max didn't know what to do. And it was all my fault.

_You start to sense,_

_that slowly you're becoming someone else,_

_and then you find yourself,_

That's what I hoped. That Max would find herself. Just once she would know who she was. That she would still be my Max.

_when you make new friends,_

_in a brand new town,_

_and you start to think,_

_about settling down._

I hoped that maybe, just once, Max would stop worrying about the flock, and saving the world, and the voice in her head and do something, just for herself once, without worrying what everyone else thought.

_The things that would have been lost on you,_

_are now clear as a bell._

_And you find yourself,_

_yeah, that's when you find yourself._

Just find yourself Max, I thought. Just know who you are and make a decision for yourself for once.

_Well, you go through life,_

_so sure of where you're headed._

_And you wind up lost._

_And it's the best thing, that could of happened._

Max, forget about the saving the world, and just... just be lost with me for and hour, a minute, a second even. Take a break Max, you need it.

'_Cause sometimes when you lose your way,_

_it's really just as well._

_Because you find yourself,_

_yeah that's when you find yourself._

I looked down at Max. She was humming the tune, she knew the song too. God, she looked so beautiful. I don't know why I even bothered trying. I could fight for her, I would probably die for her. But as soon as I got her to love again, she was just going to run off to someone else. She wouldn't give a second glance at me. Why would she?

By now Max had fallen asleep. I stroked her blond curls behind her ear. I loved her. What else could I do but help her?

_When you meet the one,_

_that you've been waiting for,_

_and she's everything,_

_that you want and more._

Max. She's my everything, she's my world. She's just so perfect, I've never seen her falter. Sure, she was in an emotional mess, but none of that was her fault.

_You look at her and you finally start,_

_to live for someone else._

_And then you find yourself,_

_yeah that's when you find yourself._

I lived for Max. I was pretty sure that was the only reason why I was an avian freak sitting here right now. Max was lonely, hurt and abused. Then there was me.

_We go through life,_

_so sure of where we're headed,_

_and then we wind up lost,_

_and it's the best thing that could of happened._

Maybe I was lost too. I didn't know my story. I didn't know where I came from or who I was or who my parents were. I didn't know my fate, or what tomorrow would bring. But I didn't care. I had Max. That's all I needed. That's all I'll ever need.

'_Cause sometimes when you lose your way,_

_it's really just as well._

_Because you find yourself._

_Yeah, that's when you find yourself._

"I found myself," I whispered to a sleeping Max. "I found myself in you. I love you. I always have and I always will. I'm yours Max. Just face it. Maybe you feel the same way, I really don't know. But I know I need you, and you need me too."

I kissed the top of head lightly.

"Goodnight Max."

I heard footsteps coming our way, cracking the underbrush, and not wanting to be seen, I whisked Max and me from visible reality.


	3. Purpose

Fang POV

I moved Max off my lap, and she mumbled contently but didn't wake. I watched her for a moment. This was likely the first time she'd ever truly fell asleep. In my arms. I decided not to wake her.

Careful to make sure I kept a hand on her, so she remained invisible too, I shuffled forward silently and crouched down in front of Max. I tensed to pounce if something attacked. The footsteps continued to crouch loudly on the underbrush. Whatever was coming wasn't making any effort to hide it.

The light coming through the heavy branches was dismal, even for my eyes. I almost immediately regretted my location. Still the footsteps drew closer. I held my breath.

Then slowly, into the only other sliver of light from the moon that slipped through the branches, stepped Jeb. He stood there in the light, glancing around as if looking for something. He finally decided to fix his gaze on the ground below his feet. He spoke.

"Hello Fang."

Maybe it was the way he said it. Familiar. Sharp. Clean. Blunt. Emotionless. The last time Jeb had addressed me like that was when we were still trapped in the school. It was all horribly familiar.

_The door would creak, once, twice, it was a swinging door. I couldn't see it. I only heard. The hard footsteps on the tile floor, one, two, three, four, five. Always five paces. The familiar smell. Always the smell of antiseptic._

_Jeb would stand in front of my cage, he would bend over so I could see his face through the bars as I shoved myself as far back as I could in my cage. My breathing would quicken. I did nothing but stare. Silent as the dead._

_"Hello Fang."_

_The words were worse than a tazer. They tore clean through your heart, you knew he didn't care. It was no more than a play, always the same._

_"Come now, Fang, stop hiding. I know where you are."_

_My heart kept beat with my breathing now. Be brave. Don't go._

_"Don't you know it's not civil to talk to someone without looking at them? Come out Fang."_

_I squeezed Max's hand as I held it in the cage next to mine. I would look over to her. And without saying a word, I could see all my fear reflected in her eyes. She was scared too._

The memory was as vivid as broad daylight in the darkness. Jeb stood there the same way.

"Come now, Fang, stop hiding. I know where you are."

I caught myself slipping my hand into Max's behind me. Almost unconsciously, Max's hand squeezed mine. I wasn't sure what to think of that. My mind immediately jumped to conclusions, but it could be nothing more than the fact we had been in that situation one too many times before.

Max shifted closer to me and a twig snapped beneath her weight. Jeb's eyes immediately shot up and starred straight through us. Still, Max did not wake. I was starting to wonder if she was ok.

I looked up into Jeb's eyes, and my fear was immediately replaced with burning rage. I hated Jeb, he had hurt Max, he had hurt me, he had hurt the flock. He was my enemy. I had to keep myself from growling at him.

"Fang, I'm growing impatient. Do you not know it's impolite to have a conversation with someone without looking them in the face?"

_I'm not talking to you, _I thought like always, but didn't move.

Jeb's look was just as hostile now as he spoke those familiar lines. Jeb knew probably better than anyone else on earth what could hurt me, what my weaknesses were. And I was ashamed that he knew.

Jeb sighed. "Must I remind you of all the things I could do to Max if you don't comply? One thought and I can set off her worst headache to date."

It hurt. A lot. Not only did he know old fears, he knew new fears as well. Why was he doing this to me?

I decided to comply to his demands. I didn't want to see Max hurt because of my stupid stubbornness. Carefully I slipped my hand out of Max's, revealing her first. Jeb gasped a little. Then, standing to face Jeb, I slipped back into the world of visible reality, making sure my 17 foot black-as-night wingspan was as intimidating as possible.

Jeb smiled. "Ah, that did it. But I still can't see you. Come over here."

I risked a glance at Max behind me. "No." I said coldly. Jeb needed to know he didn't have my respect.

"Hmmm, well, I suppose I can't demand everything of you. I may have almost earned Max's respect back, but I most certainly believe I've never earned yours. I hope to change that." Jeb sat down where he was.

I just glared at him. He smiled at me. It was fake. I sat down where I was next to Max and picked up Max's hand again. I got the same response from her. She murmured contently and cuddled a little closer. I looked back up at Jeb. He was grim. So he didn't like that, eh? It made me smirk just a little. I had an advantage.

"Name your terms." I said flatly.

Jeb chuckled nervously to himself and fiddled with his fingers. "Well, I don't really think there should be any terms, but I'm starting to think that should be one of them," he said, nodding at the hand I was holding. I looked at him questioningly.

"I know I've hurt her a lot, just... don't hurt her again."

I looked at him in shock. "Do you really know how much you hurt her? Are you aware how much work it took just to pull her out of denial when you first left? What makes you think I would ever _ever_ do that? I'm not an idiot."

"I never said that, I -"

"You know what I meant." I growled with resent.

Jeb sighed and paused for a moment, thinking. "Perhaps I should tell you the same thing I told Max. You need to see the bigger picture here. I'm not the enemy. It may not seem like it, but I'm helping you out the best that I can."

"You were made to save the world, etc., etc., I know the spiel. Hello! You disappeared on us. Someone had to look after Max," I finished for him. Jeb laughed as I said it. I continued anyways. "And perhaps I know more than you think. If Max trusts you any at all, it's none of your doing. All credit would go to Dr. Martinez. And I have no mother for you to use to influence me."

"What if I told you about her?" Jeb actually looked shocked that that statement impacted me at all. But the reaction didn't last long.

"What if I told you I didn't care?"

Jeb smiled then. Apparently I had said what he wanted. He fidgeted a little before he replied. "Mmm... that's right. You never needed a mother, yes. You needed no one except Max. She was the same. She needed no one except you."

I just stared back at him. I knew my half of the statement was true, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it to him.

Jeb continued, "It's a scary thing, yes, that these things can be manufactured. What if I told you what your purpose is? Ah, there we go, a little more interest. You didn't let me finish before, Fang. You weren't meant to save the world, oh no, that's Max. You were made to save the person who will save the world."

What was he saying? That I would die to save Max?

"What do you mean?"

Jeb just watched grimly as I brushed one of Max's strands of long, blond hair behind her ear in slow motion.

"Fang, look at _me_ for a minute, yeah?" Jeb asked. I looked up at him from the corner of my eye. The look was hostile. I didn't know if I should believe what he was saying.

Jeb continued anyways. "You were meant to save the person who will save the world. You're not supposed to die exactly, if that's what you were thinking. I mean, that's what I would think, but, like it's not something I could control anyways so I can't really say that.... I mean, it could happen by chance..."

"Get to the point, Jeb. Plain English, please. What. Is. My. Purpose?"

Jeb just sat there for a minute, his fingers pressed to his lips in thought.

"You can tell me," I whispered so quietly only Max would have heard.

"You were made for Max, Fang." Jeb said as he starred me straight in the eye.

And I knew he was telling the truth.


	4. I have to tell you, or not

MAX P.O.V.

I felt Fang put me down on the bed. Poor Fang. I couldn't believe Jeb told him that. I couldn't believe it was actually his purpose. I suddenly felt extremely selfish. But it couldn't be true, could it? Knowing Jeb, he was probably lying through his teeth. It was like he hated Fang for some reason. Why?

I kept my eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep. In truth, I had fallen asleep. But when I heard Jeb's voice all cold like it used to be, I woke with a start. Thankfully, Fang didn't notice and I shut my eyes again, listening carefully. Ok, so I was eavesdropping on the conversation in a way, but the way Jeb had spoke before sounded like he was going to kill Fang. And I couldn't let that happen, could I?

I still felt Fang's presence in the room. Don't ask how I can do that. I really don't know. Huh. Now that I think of it, maybe what Jeb said was more true than I thought.

After a moment, I heard Fang sigh and felt the bed sheets being pulled over me. He touched my face once, then I heard him leave the room, his feet falling abnormally loudly on the floor. Fang was usually so silent. It worried me.

I opened my eyes into the dark room. I caught myself absentmindedly touching my face where Fang had touched me. What was wrong with me?

Sure, Fang loved me. I had got that far. But did I really love him? I would do anything for him, anything to make him happy, I owed him that. But did that mean I loved him? I certainly didn't deserve him. Fang was perfect. Strong, silent, mysterious, dark, handsome...

Gah! Why do I even think that? Fang's my best friend. Would I risk losing that if things didn't work out? Even more, what would happen to the flock? That was something I could never risk.

My eyes adjusted to the light and my gaze fell to the floor by the open window. A breeze blew through it, sending the curtains fluttering, and a single black feather rolled along the ground. My heart leaped. Over that. I sighed. Maybe I was in deeper than I thought.

I tossed the the bed sheets off me and stepped carefully across the floor toward the window, picking up the feather. I ran my finger along the edge carefully, and continued to walk toward the window. The moon shone through and made the feather glow purple. Just like Fang's wings in the sun.

Errrr... I strode quickly away from the window, but stopped before I reached my bed. I sighed, took a few deep breaths. I looked at the feather again. I reached around my shoulder and grabbed one of my own feathers, putting it next to Fang's... I mean the black one.

I walked over to the window and sat in front of it on the floor, looking up at the moon. It had a bunch of little pockmarks in it. It reminded me of a chocolate chip cookie. Fang's eyes were like chocolate chips...

I placed the feathers on the ground and pulled my legs in towards me. I sighed. The flock was very important. We had to stick together, we had learned that. But even if I hated Fang, I would still stay with the flock for the sake of the flock. And I was pretty sure Fang was the same.

And who had to know? We could always whisk away from reality for a little while. Literally, since Fang could do that disappearing thing. And there was always the night. Everyone was asleep. Who would know?

A breeze blew through again and sent the two feathers tumbling to my feet. They caught my toes. Ironically enough, the shape they made with my feet was a heart. I laughed a little.

I guess I had made my choice. I was going to surrender. Secretly. I loved Fang. A lot. And it was time to stop playing hard to get. I had to tell him.

_Max?_

Angel! _Hey Sweetie. What's wrong?_

It took Angel a minute before responding_. It's Fang... he's seems kinda... really sad. And angry at the same time. It's weird. He won't let me in to talk to him._

Fang. I remembered the heavy footsteps. I was at the door before Angel finished._ Don't worry about it. I'll go talk to him. _

_Ok Max. Good Luck._ _He's in his room._

_Thanks sweetie. Try to get some sleep, ok?_

_Ok._

I started down the hallway towards Fang's room two doors down when I heard angered voices coming from the kitchen. Fang thought I was still asleep. I decided to check it out first.

I hid myself behind the corner at the top of the stairs and peeked through the railing to the main floor. Standing in the kitchen was my Mom and Jeb. Mom was sitting on the island, arms crossed. Jeb was staring out the kitchen window, his back turned to Mom.

"I told you already, there's nothing I can do." Jeb's voice was pleading.

"There's got to be something! Don't you see? If you let them it could risk the whole operation! Haven't you ever read a novel?"

What was my Mom talking about? It made no sense.

"What kind of novel?" Jeb asked quietly turning slightly to face her.

My Mom rolled her eyes and jumped to the floor. "Love is a weakness. It's the first thing the bad guys jump on."

Jeb raised an eyebrow. "And what happened in the endings of all those romances? Love saves the day. Besides, the relationship between them is nothing new."

"What do you mean?" my Mom asked confused. I agreed. I had no idea what they were talking about.

Jeb sighed. "A few years ago, Max and Fang split the flock. The guys went with Fang, the girls with Max. The reason? Because Max let Ari join the flock. The girls and Ari went to Europe and eventually got caught. Max managed to get a message out to the boys, and guess who came running?"

"Well the boys did obviously. The other half of the flock was in trouble. Max sorta told me about this. They learned they couldn't split the flock."

They were talking about us? More specifically, Fang and me. Jeb might know a bit since he was the voice (or so I thought), but I didn't tell my Mom anything about what happened after.

"You're missing the point!" Jeb shouted. Then he calmed down. "You didn't see them after. I swear, they will never leave each other again. And they both put the flock before everything. That's how it was supposed to be. We planned for this! Why are you freaking out now?"

Suddenly I felt a hand on my back between my wings, and someone whisper _shhhh... _in my ear. I knew that voice. It was Fang.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Shh... listen. They're talking about us." I whispered.

"Wh... what about us...?"

I reached back and grabbed his hand and looked into his chocolate eyes. I wanted so much to kiss him right then, but I was interrupted when my Mom replied.

"Because I just got her back," my Mom whispered so quietly only Fang and I could have heard it. Then louder she said, "You've seen them grow up. You've seen their whole lives. I haven't. I got back a daughter I never thought I'd see. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"And you don't think I think that too?!" Jeb bit back. "I had to hurt her just to keep with the plan. Do you have any idea how hard that was? Anyways, Fang would never hurt her. I would trust Fang with her life any day."

I heard Fang gasp behind me. That was big. I squeezed his hand. I would trust my life to him any day too.

"How can you know that? How do you know he won't ditch her?"

"Don't you remember anything about the plan? Each of the flock was made for a specific purpose. And one of Fang's was to protect Max. It would go against his nature to hurt her." Jeb said.

Note to self. Give Fang more freedom. I felt really selfish now.

My Mom leaned against the island, thinking for a minute. Then she sighed. "Alright, but I still don't think it's a good idea. Keep an eye on them. Today wasn't the first night they've come back late... Don't think I don't see them sneaking out every so often."

I cringed. Fang squeezed my hand.

"I know. Tonight, I agree they should have come back with Nudge and Iggy. But I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason. You have to give them some freedom." Jeb argued back.

"Coming back at one in the morning? That's just unreasonable!" My mum yelled. It was almost funny.

"How can you expect them to have reason? They've been on their own for years! How can you expect them to know what's acceptable! This is the first time we've caught them. You can't expect them to know."

I was starting to re-think the decision I had made before... there were a lot more factors to this that just friendship and the flock. Why did it have to be so hard? Making sure everyone was ok while beating the crap out of erasers was easier.

Fang must have sensed something because he wrapped his arm around my waist, still holding my hand, and muttered _shhh..._ into my ear again.

"Well then we should tell them right?" my Mom asked.

"I'll talk to them in the morning." Jeb said.

My Mom sighed. "I can't believe you convinced me to sign up for this years ago. It's just way to crazy. It makes everything complicated. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Mom started to walk away. Then Jeb did something completely unexpected. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Listen, I'm sorry..." he started, but my Mom pulled her hand back and started walking up the stairs. Fang helped me up and we ran as quietly as we could back to the bedrooms, racing my Mom.

I leaned toward my room and pulled Fang inside.

"Wait." I said when he looked at me. "She's going check to make sure I really am here. And she won't be to happy finding you here. Go. I'll meet you in your room when she's gone."

"How do you know that?" Fang asked quickly, already almost out the window.

"Because I would do the same thing." I said simply, climbing into bed. And Fang was gone.

"And no just being invisible!" I whispered just in case. I heard the wood creak as he let go of the window.

Sure enough, my Mom poked her head into my room. I kept my eyes glued shut, frantically hoping it didn't look fake.

"Max, Max!" she whispered, shaking me. Shit.

I decided it was justified that I would attack if someone tried to wake _me_ of all people. So that's what I did.

"Shhh... Max relax, it's just me."

"Oh..." I relaxed, trying to make it look as casual as possible.

"Are you alright?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." I said quickly, maybe too fast.

"You sure? You came back late tonight. Did something happen?" My mom asked, concern plastered all over her face.

And I remembered thinking much earlier that Mom had sent me to the dance so I'd get over myself and trust Fang. Turned out I was wrong.

"Oh yeah.... listen, Mom, I'm really tired. I'll tell you in the morning." I made up.

"Ok, get some rest. Remember, you can tell me anything." My Mom said. How cheesy was that? No offense Mom, but I think I'd almost sooner tell Fang.

"Yeah. Ok. Night Mom."

"Goodnight Max."

I waited until I heard my Mom close her bedroom door before I opened my eyes and started climbing out of bed.

"You really are a wonderful actress you know that."

I spun towards the source of the sound, the window. I only relaxed when I saw Fang perched there. I walked over to the window and punched him in the shoulder, but not hard enough that he'd fall out. Then I pulled him into the room.

"So... that was..." Fang said unable to find the words.

I turned my back on him. "Yeah..." I said quietly.

Before I knew it, he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me. "Shh... it's going to be alright, you'll think of something to tell your Mom come morning."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I said quickly.

Fang said nothing, not uncommon, but then I realized he was trying to figure out what was wrong without actually asking me. I turned around to face him, and his hands fell to my hips. I was about to say something when I looked up at him, but when I met his eyes, the words stuck in my throat.

"I..." I choked out. I got another _shh..._ as Fang met my eyes, his gaze intent, focused. Then his eyes widened. He brought his hand up to my face and brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes.

It was quiet for what seemed like forever, both of us just staring into each other's eyes. But then Fang tilted his head to the side slightly, a curious expression on his face.

And just when I was about to turn away, he pulled me back and kissed me.


End file.
